September 2011
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stop calling me Pocahontas.
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shitting in one's nest
I got told I shouldnt shit in my nest today at work. She meant I shouldnt shit where I eat basically.
Has she met the boy I’m shitting with…wait…that sounds gross but you know what I mean. He’s lovely.
And she was so excited when I told her about the relationship, she ran up to him and high fived him so I don’t understand why she’s suddenly changed her mind...
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Ivy: It's the KFC regret. I hate myself right now. Come over and let me vom in your mouth. It's how I show love.
he hasn't responded but I'm sure it will be:
Joel: you're nasty
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Hey shark week…where are you? You’re late.
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actual text messages I send
Me: I was being a squirrel and storing things for later. If you eat my food what will I eat in the winter?
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fuck yeah i turned my boyfriend into a mighty...
lillyluna replied to your post: harlee-q replied to your post: fml i think he’s…
Doesn’t he know Murdock is only suppose to be with me?
he is a boy. boys arent too bright. but i will remind him haha
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G: You sure a snack box is gonna full you up Ivy?
J: She'll be fine. She eats a lot of snacks during the day
I: FUCK YEAH POPCORN CHICKEN SNACKBOXXXX
Ten minutes later
I: Joel...
J: Yeah?
I: My tummy hurts
J: Haha for fucksake Ivy! You're ridiculous!
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fuck I am a shitty person. I made him sad. Great.
fucking great.
just great.
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fuck this shit I'm gonna watch the wizard of oz...
harlee-q replied to your post: harlee-q replied to your post: fml i think he’s…
Hmm, it’s poss he’s just off to play games or eat or sleep. Joel doesn’t strike me as the type to get mad either, in fact you guys are prob the most chilled out people I know. Give him til the morning, am sure things will be fine :)
I think you’re right. Like I said I’m probably over thinking it...
harlee-q replied to your post: fml i think he’s mad about the entire murdoch…
Whoa, thought he didn’t care about the Murdock thing! It’s ridiculous cos a) you don’t know Murdock well, and b) hello? He called you by his ex’s name! YOU should be the one that has the right to be mad. Silly silly boy.
I dont even know, he hasnt texted me back since like 7ish and I was like “are you...
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fml i think he’s mad about the entire murdoch thing.
for fucks sake I would never ever go after him, like I have a good thing right now. I’m all talk. He hasn’t texted me back and I DIDNT GET FUCKING ANGRY WHEN HE CALLED ME HELEN.
DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING HELEN?
Just text a mother fucker back. Christ.
This is not the week I swear to god. I will honestly cut a bitch for no...
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I got my F21 order.
The boy is jizzing his pants in anticipation.
shame mother fucker you have to wait till I get all my online purchases.
Also holy shit my stilettos are high. I am a giant…aka white girl size in them.
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if anyone ever comes to my house dressed as the...
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“Get fruity! A mashed banana or peaches inserted in your vagina is a delightful...”
– Cosmopolitan Ultimate Sex Guide. (via ahhellobeautiful-)
what the fuck……
(via pigwidgeonthegreat)
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him: you look fucking adorable in your sweats by the way
me: no sweats. kitty pj pants and a hoodie and you think i'm adorable...awwwwwwwww
him: of course i do. that should be obvious by how i touch you everytime you're in cute clothes, like my big shirts or your adorable pjs
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Him: I meant candy store things. pez and gummys
Him: I realize I'm dating you not your vagina
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harlee-q replied to your post: so when you get cocky with me…I’m gonna get mean….
Who? :O
Joel. I’m just gonna play a mean little trick on him just to teach him a lesson
so when you get cocky with me…I’m gonna get mean. sorry hun.
also
spent a good 200 dollars on shopping today…come home and do a topshop order.
in my defense…it was free shipping and I didn’t have to spend 75 pounds…I only spent 55.
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I’m really bad with eye contact so whenever we’re lying in bed and I catch him just staring at me I look every where else but at him. I can’t look people in the eye for some reason, I like get nervous and ramble on about crazy people things.
So things I’ve learned in this two week old relationship:
I’m horrible with eye contact
making out isn’t really my...
Assignment is to research a person, it can be anyone, and then write a short speech for them and then analyze the speech techniques I’ve used.
I’m choosing to write for…The Doctor.
And Joel goes “That’s incredibly nerdy but you’re nerdy so its ok”
and then he asks what jammies I will be wearing for my doctor who night on friday even though he...
lillyluna said: I can’t even explain how proud of you I am. There are no words.
I like to think I’m prepping myself for Breckenridge…if it ever happens and I dont have a bf at the time…
Tmi but last night we drive around for a solid 30-45 minutes looking for a dark spot to fool around. We finally found one, did our business and then we fist bumped afterwards.
I felt so bad for him he had this pained puppy look on his face every time we found a place but it had a car with people in it.
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he came over, dressed as hipster hitler and i died...
beau-noir answered: stop over thinking it my luv ivy! little imperfections like it not being a clear night or driving across town is what makes it fun and silly
You have a point. I’ll just run both ideas past him and see what he thinks. I think I like the idea of minigolfing...
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why do I have to organize the second date? Why can’t you do that too? Blaaaaaaaaaah
So far all I have is
Observatory: only problem is it has to be a clear night to really see any stars.
or
we could hit the night markets for dinner then go glow in the dark minigolfing and then go to a beach and chill.
Problem being the golf thing is on the other side of town, I don’t know if he...
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I don't like being asked to make decisions.
xxcoolstorybroxx:
Where do you want to eat?
Where do you want to go?
“I have no idea.”
What do you want to do?
“What do you want to do?”
